I don't know about you, but that was pretty gnarly. And while you may be partial to bodacious, bitchin', radical, wicked, or totally tubular, you gotta admit that trailer was a lot of fun, right?
At this point, I'm not entirely sure if I actually enjoyed it, this trailer is our first real look at this year's reboot of Eastman and Laird's comic book classic, or if my expectations have been lowered so severely, plunged into a Mariana Trench-sized pit of sadness with every new reveal, that anything that didn't burn out my retinas upon first glance would have made me happy. And it totally did! Yes, Michael Bay in producing. Yes, the guy (Jonathan Liebesman) who is directing also directed such masterpieces as Darkness Falls, Battle: Los Angeles, and Wrath of the Titans. And yes, Megan Fox is starring as plucky news reporter April O'Neil. But, despite it all, there's a bunch of things to like about this trailer.
I was initially worried about the tone. As the trailer begins, we get a serious sounding William Fichtner (whose casting I love) talking about the rampant crime and mayhem in New York City. As he does, his words are laid over scenes of destruction and armed police looking scary and then getting manhandled by some unknown force. There is dramatic music, gun fire, terror and menace and while watching it I started to get some serious Battle: LA flashbacks. And then you see them. Then you see Leonardo flip down in front of O'Neil. Then you see them sliding on their shells down an icy slope and you hear Donatello say, "Batter up!" and then woo! and chuckle as Rafael slams into a vehicle. And then you know things might just be okay.
The tone seems like exactly what I want it to be and what it needs to be. It has the grit and the darkness, the whimsy and the goofiness, and it seems to balance it well. William Fichtner is rightfully austere and intimidating as he attempts to sell April a line and as he later stares longingly, almost smiling at the armor that will turn him into the turtle's greatest foe. Megan Fox has never been Katherine Hepburn or Meryl Streep, but she is asked to do relatively little outside of looking confused and afraid which suits her perfectly (and which I hope is representative of her role throughout the film). And the Turtles themselves are pretty much exactly what I wanted. Are they kind of gross? Yes. Are they off-putting and a little scary? Yes. BUT THEY'RE MUTANTS. They Teenage MUTANT Ninja Turtles. They were common pet turtles who were mutated by some strange green chemical and then taught the ninja arts by a rat named Splinter who has also been mutated. And that's what they look like! Sure, I kind of miss the smooth, rubbery suits from the early '90's, but in the age of CGI, this was the best we could hope for and I for one like it. They're wise-cracking, they sound like surfers, they can kick ass and I'll bet you anything that they have a burning passion for a good pizza.
I'll come clean though, despite how much I enjoyed the trailer, I wouldn't say I'm sold. Even with all the things to like, we're still dealing with a director whose track record would suggest that even at his best, the most we can expect is "pretty alright" or "I didn't hate it." I also worry about the feel of the beginning half of the trailer. As much as I like William Fichtner, it still looks like a generic CGI-filled meh-fest. Blue/Green, Orange, Blue/Green, Orange, Destruction Porn, Blue/Green, Orange. Everything changes when the Turtles hit the screen, however. Even though the action is still generic, the quartet's patented silliness and fun-loving nature is more than enough to make up for it. My hope is that they will be the focus from the get-go instead of there being an unnecessarily long build up to their reveal where we follow snoopy April O'Neil as she tries to make her bones with hard-hitting journalism about the corrupt and crumbling City of New York. The film isn't called April O'Neil: Just the Facts or Shredder Origins. It's called Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. That's who audiences are paying to see and that's to whom I hope the film pays paramount attention.
Do I think it'll be great? No, probably not. I worry that it'll be caught in the dead zone of being too violent/scary/intense for children but too mild and uninteresting for adults. I worry that Michael Bay and Jonathan Liebesman and Megan Fox will find away to screw things up majorly as they have time and time again. I worry that even though the tonal balance in the trailer is great, the finished film will not pull it off nearly as well. And I worry that it will be compared unfairly (and too harshly) to the beloved 1990's film, where even if it's pretty great, it won't be good enough. But despite all my worries, I'll be damned if this trailer didn't get me at least a little excited. I have loved the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ever since I was a little kid. I've read the comics, watched the movies and the animated series, played with the toys and wore clothes based on the franchise. Hell, I even carried a Ninja Turtle shell backpack all fours years of college. And based on this brief glimpse, this seems like the Ninja Turtles I know and love. Sure it's got that new school look, but the flavor is totally old school.
"People want heroes," Shredder tells April O'Neil. "They're not born, they're created," he says. They're also not aliens or mute monsters wielding dangerous weapons. What they are, are a group of rambunctious teenage turtles who love to have fun and munch on Italian food, but who also stand up for what's right. What they are, are heroes in a half shell with turtle power. And, amazing as it sounds, that seems like exactly what Bay and Liebesman are trying to give us.
And to that I say, "COWABUNGA!"
